


Maybe it's the pizza talkin', or the copious amount of alcohol we've both consumed

by Sun-Moon-and-Talia (SMT)



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Alcohol, Anna is thirsty with a capital desperate, Comedy, F/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 22:56:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3186350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMT/pseuds/Sun-Moon-and-Talia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Hansotsi. Modern hanna where Rapunzel And Eugene steal pizza from a rather drunk Anna and Hans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe it's the pizza talkin', or the copious amount of alcohol we've both consumed

“Remember he’s bringing a friend.”

“You’ve told me that like twenty times already. I get it.” Anna glanced up from the magazine she was flipping through to watch as her housemate put the finishing touches to her make up. “Look, I’m wearing people clothes and everything!”

“Well  _done_ , Anna. Now if only you’d do the same when we didn’t have visitors. I’ve seen enough of your butt to last me a lifetime,”

“Keep talking like that and I’ll get it out when this  _friend_  arrives,” She flipped another page, but her eyes were trained on Rapunzel. “He’ll run for the hills before you even have time to try and set us up.”

“I’m offended that you’d think I’d even try such a thing. Eugene and I just don’t want you getting lonely when we go and make out in the hallway or something.”

“If you want to spend time with him, then go do it. There’s no need to take pity on me for being single.”

She’d be able to stay in her pyjamas that way, too.

“Pffft, if all we wanted to do was make out, let me assure you that pizza would be involved _after_ , not before.” She paused, scrutinising the eyeliner she’d just applied. “Besides, Eugene likes you. He thinks you’re funny.”

“Funny?”

“Yeah. He said you were a funny one.”

“Uhhh, I don’t think he meant funny. I think he meant  _funny._ ”

“Oh shut up, he thinks you’re cool.” Rapunzel scolded, applying mascara with a steadiness only an artist could manage.

“So, wait. It’s cool now? What happened to funny?”

“Funny, cool, same difference…” She waved her mascara wand back and forth as she spoke, before shooting Anna a sly look. “Besides,  _what matters_  is if his friend likes you or not.”

“A- _hah_! I  _knew_  this was some sort of set up!” The triumph of figuring out her friend’s intentions evaporated as the reality of what that meant sunk in. “Aaaaaand this is the worst thing you could have possibly done. This is gonna be so awkward.  _I’m_  gonna be so awkward.”

Rapunzel laughed and fluffed her hair one last time before turning away from the mirror. “So I notice ‘I’m not looking for anyone’ wasn’t part of that really weak protest.”

“I – well – you see –” Anna stopped short, glowering at the brunette. “Well it is now.”

Rapunzel opened her mouth to reply, but was cut short by a rap on the door. A smirk slid across her face, in sharp contrast to the sing-song of her voice as she skipped towards the door.

“Too late now!”

Anna would have gone and locked herself away in her room right there and then, were she not admittedly just a  _little_  bit curious about this friend of Eugene’s. All of his friends  _did_  seem to have a habit of being rather easy on the eye, after all…

“Aw, where’s your friend?” Rapunzel stood on tip-toe to try and peer over her boyfriend’s shoulder, as if he might be concealing him from view.

“What, not even a ‘hello’? A ‘how are you’? A ‘oh babe I’m sure you’re exhausted so go lie down so I can give you a back massage?’”

“Pfffft, as if. Besides,” She shot Anna a look that could only described as ‘alarming’ over her shoulder before turning back to Eugene. “We need to introduce Anna to her  _maaaaaaan_.”

“Oh my god,  _stop_.” She moaned, burying her face in her hands and trying to ignore the snickering couple.

“Don’t worry, Red, he’ll be here soon.” She felt Eugene clap her on the shoulder and decided to leave the safety of her cupped hands to glare up at him.

“Don’t call me that,”

“Why? It’s  _doubly_  appropriate now,” He grinned, his teasing only making her blush harder.

She shrugged his hand off and dived face first on the sofa.

“I hate you both,” She moaned into one of the cushions. “You know how stupid I get around people I’ve just met. I’m gonna make the biggest fool out of myself.”

“Well if he walks in to see you like this, then y –” Eugene’s voice cut off with an odd grunt, almost as if he’d taken a well-placed elbow to the stomach.

“It’ll be  _fine_ ,” Rapunzel soothed, kneeling next to her friend to stroke her hair. “And you know what might help?”

“Me being a completely different person?”

Rapunzel ignored her, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I have vodkaaaaaaa,”

Anna turned her head to look her friend dead in the eye. “ _Okay_  but do you even remember what happened last time I drank that stuff neat – ”

“Not by itself! God, no. Mix it with lemonade or juice or something. It goes down easy and after one or two you’ll feel able to talk to this guy and less like trying to make the couch eat you.”

“I don’t think drinking is the best idea right now. You know how… _talky_  I am as it is, and alcohol sure doesn’t help. I don’t think this poor guy needs to have his ear talked off the first time he meets me.”

Rapunzel looked down at her, arms crossed and brows creased.

“You know, if you’re that worried about this we can always cancel? I wanted this to be  _fun_  for you, not stressful…”

No sooner had she spoken then there was another knock on the door. He was  _here._

“Don’t worry, I’ll get rid of him.” Rapunzel started for the door, but was stopped by Eugene.

“It’ll probably be less awkward if I do it,” He said, keeping his voice low so as not to be heard through the door.

“No – no, guys!” Anna pushed herself off the sofa, suddenly feeling a lot better now that an escape route had been presented to her, and realising that…she didn’t want it. “It’s fine, don’t turn this guy away just cause  _you_  sprung this on me without any warning.”

At least the pair had the good grace to look sheepish, Eugene admittedly less so.

“Besides, I’m pretty sure it’s against the Geneva Convention or something to promise someone pizza and then not deliver.”

Rapunzel nodded sagely as Eugene went to open the door. “You make a very good point, actually.”

What was she so worried about, anyway? She  _loved_  meeting new people. Just because this was an attempted set up didn’t mean anything  _had_  to happen, right? Right.

She forced herself to relax as Eugene opened the door.

“Wow, thought you’d stood me up for a second there, Rider.”

“It’s not my fault you knock like a grandma,”

“And it’s not my fault you probably got lost on the way to the front door. What happened, you pass by a mirror or something?”

Anna glanced over to Rapunzel but quickly looked away again when she saw that the brunette was already eagerly watching her, the expression on her face the same as when something big was about to go down in one of those daytime soaps she so loved to watch.

Eugene finally stepped back to allow his friend entry and any fantasies Anna had been having of throttling Rapunzel quickly dissipated… and were soon replaced by entirely  _new_  fantasies.

Yeesh, Eugene had been going out with Rapunzel for months and  _this_  was the first she’d seen of this guy? Talk about withholding vital information.

Truth be told, he looked almost as stunned to see her as she did him. One he’d looked away from Eugene to spot Anna awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room, he just sort of…stopped. And blinked.

“Oh. H-hi. I didn’t expect – ” He shot Eugene a look.

“What? I told you this was a pizza party.” Eugene’s smile was just a tad too wide for Anna’s liking.

“Never mind. I’m Hans.” His arm twitched, as if he’d considered a handshake but had changed his mind at the last second, instead shifting his bag higher up on his shoulder.

“Anna,” She replied, giving him a little wave, even though he was only a few feet away.

“Anna.” He repeated, smiling. Probably laughing at her. Who waved  _indoors_ , anyway?

Evidently, she did.

At least she hadn’t spoken her thoughts out loud. She was pretty sure ‘I’m Anna, you’re gorgeous’ would have surpassed breaking the ice and would have probably made her look more than just a little weird, if not full-blown creepy. At least even if her brain wasn’t past the Tarzan and Jane stage then her mouth was.

Huh. Her mouth actually  _saved_  her from embarrassing herself? Well, that was a new one.

She breathed a sigh of relief as Hans finally turned away, his attention back on Eugene. As long as they were talking she couldn’t do anything to embarrass herself further. She hoped.

As Anna stood there contemplating the back of Hans’ head, Rapunzel sidled up to her and gave her a look that clearly asked ‘Well, what do you think?’

Anna turned to the brunette, her voice low as she kept one eye on Eugene’s friend, currently shrugging off his jacket.

“Give me the vodka.”

—

Anna was sure she could physically feel her eyes glazing over, almost as if the vodka had actually managed to make its way straight to her eyeballs.

Everyone always talked about beer goggles, but what was this even? Vodka visors? Perhaps they’d distract her from the fact that Rapunzel had thought it was a good idea to set her up with a guy with  _sideburns_.

Sideburns that oddly seemed to suit him.

Sideburns that she couldn’t seem to stop staring at.

Well, that was probably because she only allowed herself to stare when he wasn’t really looking at her. She wasn’t really sure what colour eyes he had, but by this point she knew that Hans had a very strong jawline.

Definitely strong enough to support her weight should the need ever arise.

Which she hoped it would.

“Did you say something?”

“Hmm?” Anna turned her head sluggishly to look at Rapunzel, who was looking at her with more than a hint of amusement.

“It sounded like you said something? ‘Should the need arise…?’”

Oh god, was she talking out LOUD, now? Had she just been sitting here muttering about Hans’ jawline? Is that why he was avoiding her eyes?

“uhhhh…” Arise, lies, ties, eyes…? “Just saying how – the time –  _flies_  when you’re having fun, right? Right?”

 “O-kay, I’m thinking we should have ordered the pizza  _before_  we started drinking.” The brunette said, swiping the bottle away from Anna and squinting at it. “Oh my god Anna, how much have you even had?”

“Not.  _Enough_.” She replied, reaching for the bottle.

“ _Aa-ah_!” She stood up, keeping the vodka out of reach. “No more drinking until you’ve eaten something.”

“Or drunk something. Did you need a glass of water?” Hans asked, looking at her for the first time in what seemed like hours.

Green. His eyes were green. Almost.

“Did you want some water?” He asked again, seemingly unfazed by her gawking.

 _No_ , her mind said.

“Yes,” her mouth said.

She watched him unfold his long legs to stand up, eyes following him as he left the room.

Oh my god, look at that butt.

She wasn’t sure she could deal with this.

He was getting her a drink. Like some sort of  _butler_ , except it wasn’t his job. He  _wanted_  to get it for her.

And he was concealing a work of art in those jeans. Both front  _and_ back _._

How she was going to survive this evening was a complete mystery to Anna.


End file.
